It's 12:39am on a Sunday. It's late. Time to talk about my feelings.
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Have you ever wanted to call someone, pick them up, and go for a long drive just to talk about yourself? Not the "Okay, well since you asked, let me tell you about what happened to me today." More so like, "Alright, here's how I'm feeling. Here's what I'm thinking. Here are the nitty-gritty parts of my mind." I don't know if other people feel the same way, but for me, I've always felt like people don't care about what I have to say. People love to talk about themselves - it's natural. They love to talk about what's going on in their lives, who they're dating, their struggles, their victories, their passions, or if their dog learned a new command that day. I love it when someone is comfortable enough to share those things with me. I'm glad to be that person for them.
But, either I'm the worst storyteller in the world or my life just isn't interesting enough for them to stop and ask, "So, Jennifer. How are you? Like really, How are you?" I love listening, I do. I've always been the listener. And because I know people enjoying sharing their lives with other people, I'm never the type to interrupt or chime in and say, "Oh hey, I feel the same way. Here's my story..." because I don't want to interrupt the speaker or make them feel as though I want to turn the story around and make it about myself. So I just listen, nod, and ask questions.
But because I don't give myself the chance to share, I feel like no one ever understands me- my thought process, my feelings, my life. Why I do the things I do. Why I dislike certain things, why I love other things. That's so vague... haha. Do other people feel this way too? I dislike (with an intense passion) when people say, "Oh, this seems like something you would do," and they'll explain a situation and I'm just thinking, "No... no, that's not me at all." Do you even know me? I've always wondered how I come off to people.
But anyway (I say but a lot. I'm always contradicting myself), there are times that I do have a chance to express my thoughts & my feelings. I'm truly thankful for the people in my life who I can show a little bit of my life to. Thanks for still being my friend even after finding out how ridiculous I am. It's too late for my family though. They're stuck with me whether they are okay with that or not.